an insider’s guide to buenos aires

by nathaliedanielleLeave a Comment on an insider’s guide to buenos aires

As I close a chapter in Buenos Aires and start a new one in Mexico City, I decided to document my recommendations/observations to serve as both as a travel guide for anyone looking to visit the “Paris of South America,” as well as a journal of some of my experiences there.

Where to stay:

I suggest staying in either the Recoleta or Palermo neighborhood, depending on what you are looking for and how much you want to spend. Recoleta is one of the wealthiest areas in Capital Federal and it is the reason the city has the moniker mentioned above. The architecture is stunning in that European, awe-inspiring kind of way (just look beyond the graffiti markings). The streets are noticeably (almost) free of trash and towers of dog excrement that one finds in other areas, and you cannot help but fall in love with the charming corner cafes. If you don’t want to break the bank, check out a mid-sized hotel called Grand Hotel Buenos Aires. They offer decent prices and it is walking distance to the Recoleta Cemetary, Cultural Center, Design Mall, cool bars and restaurants galore.

If you fancy more of a party/bohemian area of town, check out Palermo. I worked in Palermo can testify to its variety of dining, shopping and nightlife. The hotels are all small and boutique (some better than others). Travelers beware; the neighborhood can get really loud from Wednesday through Saturday nights so be sure to request an internal room that does not face the street. I stayed at the Vitrum hotel often when I travelled for work (fitted with its own Sushi Club restaurant), but there are plenty of others with equivalent charm.

Restaurants:

Your first stop in Buenos Aires will inevitably be a Parilla (aka: an Argentine steakhouse, pronounced “par-ee-sha”). I recommend going to Cabana Las Lilas in Puerto Madero. It is admittedly touristy but the food, ambiance and service are one-of-a-kind (note that quality service is not easy to find in this city) and you get an extraordinary amount of food for your money, especially if the US Dollar is your currency. I also like La Cabrera in Palermo and La Brigada in San Telmo for more of a traditional, old-school vibe.

Other restaurants worth your while:

Osaka – expensive but amazing Japanese-Peruvian fusion food, service and environment. It’s neighbor with a similar style in Palermo called Olaya boasts food and drink of equal taste and quality, for half the price.

Italian food is another Argentine specialty thanks to post WWII immigration and some places to check out are Sotte Voce, or for pizza I love Morelia (there is one in Palermo and another in Las Canitas neighborhood, which is another fun area at night for bars and restaurants).

I loved a restaurant in San Telmo called Aldo’s Vinoteca, although the area is a little rough around the edges at night. It has a jazz-club kind of ambiance with a variety of wine that will blow you away, especially when compared to US prices. Staying in the San Telmo zone, head over there on a Sunday afternoon for brunch/lunch and treat yourself to a delightful little café called Hierbabuena. Its food is largely vegetarian, but I promise it will be a welcome break from the vast quantity of meat you are sure to be eating in the city. The atmosphere is quaint and will make you want to settle in for the day…although a stroll though the San Telmo market afterwards, perhaps stopping for ice cream at the famous Freddo or Persicco, is not a bad plan.

Another experience worth your while is a closed-door restaurant (Google it if you have never heard of the concept). I tried Casa Saltshaker and Cocina Sunae, which both prepared amazing food but turned out to be totally different in nature. Sunae feels more like a traditional restaurant, and Saltshaker is more of a unique community ambiance where you can get to know strangers in an intimate dinner table setting. Check out my restaurant page for more on closed-door dining in Mendoza.

Finally, before you travel be sure to read the blog called Pick Up the Fork and you will find all kinds of restaurants to suit your taste buds.

Nightlife:

Palermo and Las Canitas are both fun areas at night, full of bars and restaurants. You really can’t go wrong. In Palermo, Plaza Armenia and Plaza Serrano are full of action, and also fun to wander at lunchtime to eat and shop. Franks is an upscale speakeasy that requires a password for entry, but easily the best cocktails I tried in the city.

I like Basa Basement Bar for dinner and bar in the Retiro neighborhood, and the Pony Line bar in the Four Seasons hotel in Recoleta is also the place to rub elbows with Portenos looking to see and be seen.

For drinks I also highly recommend Floreria Atlantica – a bar you access through a flower shop, literally entering through a refrigerator door. It’s an open secret in Buenos Aires and has an fun energy. You can reserve a table to eat dinner too, which I recommend if you go in a group.

I am not big on the nightclub scene (called “boliches” in Argentina), but there are plenty of them! I only went to two in my eight months living there– Shampoo (best on Saturdays) and Rose Bar (best on Thursdays). Shampoo is a smaller, underground club, while Rose Bar has a massive room with big screens and chandeliers, as well a large outdoor area/bar. The benefit of Rose Bar is you can go around 9pm on Thursday for drinks (extremely early for Buenos Aires standards), and it turns into a full club by 11pm-midnight. Other boliches do not get crowded until 2am, so be sure to nap!

Other things to see and do:

BA Walking tours are great; I recommend the one in the Recoleta Cemetery but I have heard others are great too depending on the times you are interested in going.

If you are looking for a bit of culture, try to see an opera or ballet at Teatro Colon (or just go for a tour because it is beautiful!).

You can take a ferry across the river to Colonia in Uruguay if it’s a nice day and you want a short escape from the hustle-bustle and a chance to get US Dollars from an ATM. I never went myself, but I was told it can be fun to stroll around and have lunch.

Back in the city, the Japanese gardens are a must on a spring/summer day and you can walk from there to the Rosedal (rose gardens). I recommend a nice ice cream en route, and you will pass a Volta on the opposite side of Avenida Libertador. If you are lucky, you might catch one of the free concerts the city puts on to keep morale up amongst the hyper-inflation and often prohibitive prices for entertainment.

Finally, you cannot leave Argentina without taking a tango lesson or going to see a tango show. I took a lesson at La Viruta, which was a totally unique experience located in Palermo. Oddly, the studio is situated below an Armenian school and restaurant, but at least you can stop on your way out to refuel with some out-of-this-world food. Fun fact: Buenos Aires has one of the largest Armenia populations in the world, outside of Armenia itself.

Other general info/tips:

  • Bring plenty of cash. There is a “blue” market for USD and you can get a much better exchange rate than you do paying with a credit card or taking cash from and ATM if you find the right buyer. Florida street is generally considered the hub for changing money at the blue rate, although I do not recommend going alone, especially if you do not speak Spanish. It’s important to know that many places are cash only or offer discounts when paying in cash.
  • Buenos Aires is a ridiculously late city; dinner on a weekend is anywhere from 10pm-midnight, and as mentioned, clubs don’t really start moving until 2am. You will not find much open before 10am either (although you will not care if you are keeping the late-nght hours).
  • Locals are very friendly to Americans, yet aside from the in hospitality industry, you may find that there are few fluent English-speakers.
  • Women – carry cross-body purses and wear them in front. Do not wear any flashy jewelry, (petty crime is prevalent, unfortunately), otherwise the city is safe in the right area and times, like any other. Do not flash your cell phone on the street or while riding public transportation either, because thieves have been known to pluck it right out of your hand and take off running.
  • Taxis from Radio Taxi Premium are generally considered the most secure. You can hail them on the street, but not recommended if you do not speak the language and do not know the route to where you are going.

In sum, Buenos Aires is spectacular place to visit and even live, given the right salary or currency. While the politics are touchy, the people are warm and inviting. I was constantly in awe of the beauty that surrounded me and the city will always hold a very special place in my heart.

a new balance

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As I celebrate my 29th birthday and a move to yet another country in less than a year, I find myself once again contemplating the concept of balance, which was my true inspiration for this blog. While I initially thought of balance in terms of incorporating various activities in my life in just the right proportion such as a healthy diet, exercise, spirituality and service (which I still consider to be fundamental pillars that bring equilibrium to my life), I am realizing that balance also extends to the more existential and philosophical domains.

Hal and Sidra Stone, two PhD psychologists and practicing therapists, developed a concept called Voice Dialogue (http://voicedialogueinternational.com/FAQ-index/What_is_Voice_Dialogue.htm) whose premise is that each of us “contains multitudes” of selves, some of which we identify with and others that we reject. They postulate that this over-identification with some selves and the loss of wholeness that comes from the rejection of others can create imbalances and blind spots. Their work is about embracing all the selves in order to see the dynamics of the world around us shift as our internal world changes.

After living in Buenos Aires for 6 months and being presented with a new professional and personal challenge that involves a move to Mexico, I am suddenly hyper-aware of one of these “selves”, which has dominated my personality and my last 29(ish) years. I would characterize this side of me as a “pusher,” and while it has driven me to accomplish numerous goals I’ve set for myself, I cannot help but feel like something else – some other force – is yearning for an outlet. I push myself constantly, and although in many ways it has served me well, I am starting to wonder what the purpose of it all is when I rarely stop and truly enjoy the fruits of my labor.

Psychologists certainly were not the first to conceive of the concept of balanced personalities or qualities as fundamental to a healthy existence. Dionysis is the god of fertility and wine in Greek mythology, depicted as embodying a dual nature. On the one hand he brings joy and divine ecstasy. On the other hand, he brings brutal, unthinking, rage, thus reflecting both sides of wine’s nature. It’s no coincidence that the god of wine is also a heart figure and symbol of enjoyment of the present. Perhaps that has always been my subconscious draw to wine (not just that I enjoy drinking it!)…I consider the entire process from the grape’s fermentation to the actual development of the wine as a miraculous fusion of favorable conditions and the winemaker’s sense of when to seize the day. Additionally, appreciating wine truly requires tuning into and engaging all of one’s senses. However, when taken too far, wine consumption may cause uncontrolled emotions or conversely, a numbing of all emotions, in addition to a massive headache. Dionysis represents a lesson in balance and serves as a reminder that anything taken to an extreme becomes a detriment, even if it’s a drive for success.

So what’s my ultimate goal to achieve balance in this next year, which is sure to bring more changes and unknown adventures? Ultimately, I would like to learn to tune into these competing internal dialogues and acknowledge them through my actions and lifestyle. Currently, I have a voice inside that is calling me to relax a little more, embrace the moments and accept that it is not a weakness, but rather a critical aspect to a more balanced life. Ironically, I’ve been surrounded by these messages all along, as I have observed that for Argentinians the real key to a balanced life is a general absence of hurriedness and total enjoyment of the moment. It’s a wonder they can even operate because they are so engaged in the present that even sleep is commonly an afterthought. While I live absorbed by what’s next and find myself mentally exhausted by the end of the day, Argentinians have an admirable ability to function fully immersed in today, often to a maddening degree for my impatient personality. I look forward to exploring how the Mexican culture defines and leads a balance life, and in the meantime, I hope to take a little piece of what I’ve learned here in Argentina and allow it to release that other voice inside, urging me to become the best self I can be. Now if only I could bring the Argentinian wine along with me…

the space in between

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“At the still point of the turning world. Neither flesh nor fleshless;
Neither from nor towards; at the still point, there the dance is,
But neither arrest nor movement. And do not call it fixity,
Where past and future are gathered. Neither movement from nor towards,
Neither ascent nor decline. Except for the point, the still point,
There would be no dance, and there is only dance…” T.S. Eliot

After I was recently confronted with some unexpected and drastic life changes, I decided to take a yoga class (courtesy of myyogaonline.com – listed in my links) focused on reducing anxiety. Not only have I been feeling anxious since my February move to Argentina, where I started afresh with a new job, apartment, and friends, but my sense of unrest was heightened even more so during the last week since this latest curve-ball practically knocked me over.

The yoga teacher instructed the students (me) to do an exercise called the 4×4 breath, which consists of inhaling four counts, waiting fours counts, exhaling for four counts, then waiting another four counts before starting all over. The teacher focused very particularly on the two pauses between the exhale and the inhale – known as Kumbaca. She called on her students to acknowledge this pause as uncomfortable, yet with practice and patience to try to relax into that space in between, which of course got me thinking…

Kumbaca is a metaphor for many situations in life. If you are like me – type A, perfectionist, always in motion, continuously looking for the next step – then you understand just how hard it is to embrace what feels like non-productive time. But what I realized is just how much I am missing by trying to accelerate that “in-between space.” It is actually a natural and even a critical step in making forward progress. Looking at the process from a completely literal and scientific perspective, the chemical reaction that occurs between an inhale and an exhale is both complex and necessary for sustaining life. I suppose that if it makes sense from a biological viewpoint, it stands to reason that it also applies in the physical and metaphysical realm as well.

I know I am not alone in continuously focusing on a destination. I don’t even have a concrete, well-defined destination in mind, but anywhere that measures up to society’s definition of success. If I am not moving forward, then I feel like I will never arrive. We are supposed to appreciate the journey, but what if the journey is actually taking place in that down time that on its surface feels like doing nothing? What if the real magic of life happens in that space in between?

Continuing to look to nature as the example, it is really those periods of transition that give life to the next big “thing.” Without the pause between the inhale and exhale, our bodies would not convert oxygen to hydrogen and quite frankly we would not even exist. I am starting to appreciate life’s pauses as a sign that universe has something else on the horizon – another main event. If I can trust in the universe, I know that these moments of stillness are all part of the master plan and divine design for my life.

If we can all just slow down and observe those few, beautiful pauses in the midst of our accelerated lives – letting the oxygen feed our bodies and souls – we might just catch a glimpse of a beautiful future coming our way. And even if we can’t see a clear picture of the future, we can rest easy knowing that there’s always another breath followed by another pause to reflect and prepare for whatever new opportunities life throws our way.

coming in second

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“It’s not always about you.” That was and continues to be one of my mother’s most famous lines – constantly reminding her spoiled and often self-centered only child (ME), that this world doesn’t revolve around her (GASP!). In reality, only children or not, many of us become all consumed by the importance of our own lives. It is a normal human response to a normal human condition; we are generally governed by our egos.

Wikipedia defines “Ego” as a Latin and Greek word meaning “I”, often used in English to mean the “self” or “identity”. It’s not such a negative concept, except when it clouds our ability to understand “others” and see our place in the bigger-picture context of the universe. This lesson has never been so clear as it is today, in this moment, as I sit alone in my mother’s house while she is battling some debilitating symptoms in the hospital as a result of the ugly C-word. I flew home from Argentina to be with her, mentally justifying my trip because she “needed” me here to take care of her (not that it required any justification). But the reality is that this trip was just as much, if not more, for me as it was for her. It pains me to admit it, but it was in large part fulfilling some kind of egotistical desire of mine to feel needed and useful. However, when I arrived, I realized that my presence, while helpful and definitely appreciated, is not what lights up my mother’s face and makes her days of laying in a hospital bed any easier. I can admit with both envy and some relief (two recognizable ego-driven emotions), that my mother has someone else in her life that comes in first.

I am her daughter and I know in my heart that my mother would do anything for me, but I am learning to accept that I am on my journey, living my dream in Argentina (which she has always supported 100%), and she is on her journey, living her life with her friends in her own dream city. Now that journey has steered her down a bumpy road, and her satisfying my childlike desire to feel like the center of her world has taken a back seat. Her prerogative is to focus on herself and her recovery – as it should be – and if that means that I do less talking, more listening, and open my heart to the person that is most important to her right now, that is what I must commit to doing.

At times it is a tough pill to swallow. Initially I didn’t want to accept this person in her life, the first person since divorcing my father, and I consciously built up an emotional wall with the intent of keeping him out. But seeing how much joy he brings my mother in her weakest and probably one of the most difficult times of her life has made me realize that I am fighting a loosing battle. If I want a place at all, be it first or second, I must embrace him and what he brings to the person I love most in this world. I must let go of my ego and remember that this is not remotely about me.

As children I believe many of us get to a place in our lives where suddenly a switch is flipped and we have this urge to be our parents’ parents. We think we know what is best for them and we want to care for them as they cared for us during our formidable years. I am realizing through this experience though, that caring for someone is also letting her make choices about how to live her life. Sometimes it is easy to forget that parents are still adults who have a lot more knowledge and years on this earth than their children do. Life struggles and obstacles are not foreign. While battling cancer may be a new one for my mom’s books, she certainly has the gumption and strong will to beat it, just as she has other difficulties that I was either not alive for or too young and naïve to understand.

Whether playing the role of child or parent, somewhere deep inside I always want to come in first. And even though in the truest sense of what that means I know I always will, I must make room for others who bring something to the table that I never can. Perhaps I will understand this one day when I meet the love of my life and have my own children, but for now, I humbly take a step back and recognize that the force of love is stronger than any ego and any race for first place.

lessons from argentina (so far)

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1. Don’t go anywhere in a hurry; the bus won’t come, there will be a traffic jam/street closure/picket of the highway etc., or someone will (gasp!) try to pay with a credit card that requires calling to validate…

2. Waiters in restaurants are not trying to earn your tips and thus do not care about serving you; be proactive and learn how to waive them down or simply stand up and approach the bar to ask for what you need

3. Always look down while you walk unless you want to sprain your ankle, fall on your face, or carry the delicious aroma of dog excrement on your shoes (it is everywhere because for some reason, pet owners do not feel responsible for cleaning it up)

4. Cheek kisses are always acceptable (even between men) and even expected, otherwise you are just being rude

5. Bug smashing is a daily exercise, unless you want the company in bed with you

6. Learn to love meat (or pretend you do) – this is the land of plenty

7. Take pleasure in simple joys (like finally finding soy milk in the random Chinese supermarket after weeks of searching) – although there is no guarantee it will be in stock next week

*Note: Argentina is one of the world’s major soy producers, but it is all exported

8. Sundays are days of rest and time with family…most places you would like to be open given you work full time Monday through Friday are closed and there is nothing you can do about it (including the gym)

9. Learn to stay up late if you want a social life (still a work in progress for me); this requires sleeping in late or just plain functioning on less sleep

10. Candies and Band Aids are acceptable forms of change in the absence of actual money

11. Prices change monthly with inflation at a staggering 30%+ per year, but this will never stop the Argentines from going out and enjoying a good meal

12. There is an “ia” for almost everything (panaderia = bakery, fiambreria = meat and cheese shop, heladeria = ice cream parlor, cerrajeria = locksmith, fruteria = fruit shop); small, specialty stores are on every street corner (take that Wal Mart!)

13. Overall, Argentinians are the most welcoming, hospitable people with an amazing resilience and strength to be admired and despite the culture shock and many differences I have experienced, and I truly blessed to call this country my home

connections

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A dear friend I have had for over 10 years recently visited me in Buenos Aires (my first visitor since moving here in early February!) and her stay made me think about connections to people and places. Arguably, establishing these connections is not just inevitable but a key element to a happy life. But what makes us feel connected to one person or place more than another, and what sustains that connection over time?

In the case of people, we often connect over shared interests, values, and physical spaces. Still though, it is perfectly common and yet baffling to me that someone feels more connected to a new friend he or she has just met in the last year than to a member of the family. In the same vain, how does a connection that draws a couple to marry – to have and to hold in sickness and in health forever after, etc. etc. – dissolve after one year, two years, or even after twenty? Yet on the other hand, I can reconnect with a friend I have not seen in years and pick up right where we left off…

What makes us feel an instant connection to someone else, like our souls understand each other or like maybe we have met before, while we pass sometimes hundreds of people daily that we barely even notice?

Places can have a certain draw too, beyond the practical and rational reasons like nice weather, reasonable cost of living or availability of good jobs. I can literally sense an energy in a particular city or place that validates I am where I should be. It’s like feeling of being at home even when it’s not my home and I don’t actually know anyone. In my case in particular, I was initially drawn to a whole region (Latin America), but then I refined that area after years of travelling and interacting with people in different countries and cities. For some inexplicable reason, I felt more than just a desire, but a need to live here, despite having no family or friends that I really knew prior to moving. Despite all of the stress and anxiety involved in transporting one’s life to another country to start all over (new apartment, new friends (hopefully!), new job, new culture), I feel an overwhelming sense of confidence that I am connected to this place and that I am exactly where I am destined to be right now. I would like to caveat that by saying it is not always roses and dulce de leche ice cream…read my next post to get a taste of the daily challenges and frustrations I have experienced!

In sum, everyone and everything is connected. It makes the world go ‘round. However I do think some connections are stronger than others because they move us toward our ultimate reason for existence – the lessons that we are each here to learn and the love that we are destined to give and receive. Those connections may be as simple as an inherent energy between two forces, just like the elements in nature. Or maybe it goes deeper than that, beyond the present consciousness? One of my favorite books by Dr. Brian Weiss shares the author’s experience treating a patient that remembers experiences from past lifetimes through hypnosis. He introduces the concept of infinite souls inhabiting different bodies over time (in the construct as we know it) and having encounters with other souls across multiple lifetimes.

As far as I am concerned, anything is possible and very likely beyond the scope of my human brain’s capacity to conceptualize. And it really doesn’t matter as long as I can tune into those connections and let them both guide me along my amazing journey and also bring me comfort and a sense of belonging somewhere in this world that can be so vast and challenging. I treasure my connections that endure over the years, and I also surrender those that fulfilled something I needed for a shorter period. I trust that if they are meant to resurface they will – perhaps in another space and time.

gut instincts

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Dreams really can come true. I am a testament to that statement as I am about to fulfill a lifetime goal of moving to Argentina to start an incredible new personal and professional journey. The years of wishing, working, and practicing tremendous patience has finally paid off and my “happily ever after” (i.e. ticket south of the boarder) has arrived.

But is it a coincidence that on the day I was supposed to be jet setting off into the sunset, I was instead chained (metaphorically speaking) to a hospital bed feeling completely helpless and debilitated by the worst stomach pains I’ve experienced in my life? Could it be that now that the far-off fantasy is an immediate actuality, the stress and fear of failure completely overwhelmed me? I find it ironic even that of all possible health issues, my stomach – which I try so hard to care for (and often control in the sense of staying healthy and fit) – seemingly rebels against me at a time when I am seeking strength and valiance. Now I can’t help but question what my gut was trying to declare so violently over the noise of all that anxiety I’ve been harboring.

The essence of fear as I understand it logically is a feeling of lack of control or understanding of the unknown. But there’s nothing like unexpectedly being imprisoned by a health condition to remind us that control is a total fallacy. It’s a concept created by our egos to make us believe we are really more important in the grand scheme of the infinite universe than we really are. I am not saying that we as individuals do not play a significant role in our presence on this earth, but our egos act like a deceptive shield against true vulnerability, which is actually a beautiful and arguably necessary emotion if we choose to embrace it.

The paradox of the concept of control is that we can only really take life as it comes and control our attitude and response to it – that is, NOT adopt an attitude of fear. We can embrace life’s challenges and mysteries as all part of a bigger plan, while surrendering to the reality of having no material power whatsoever. Interestingly, our “guts” can play a crucial role in our responses and reactions. We as humans have evolved with so much noise in our lives but if we can stop and listen to ourselves, our instincts, we might actually know what our gut is telling us. Maybe my stomach pains were a manifestation of all the stress and fear, and ultimately they were trying to remind me about what’s really important. Why fulfill a dream if it’s overshadowed by anxiety over the unknown and undue pressure to prove that I’m really worthy of the dream itself?

Fortunately, I am walking away from this experience healthy and with only a short delay to my South American escapade. But more importantly, I am now packing a “mental suitcase” of sorts with a healthier perspective. While moving to Argentina is a dream come true, it’s not the key to my happiness. The shadows of doubt and self-inflicted burden to “succeed” will only cloud the experience that I’ve been waiting to realize. Happiness is not about being in a particular place, but rather about a perspective and how we respond to the daily trials and rewards. Here’s hoping I can listen to my gut instincts when that perspective starts to fade amid all the commotion from the daily grind. It’s clearer than ever that I need to trust those instincts to guide me down my path of true gratification, filled with vulnerability and wonder as I explore the new and unfamiliar terrain ahead.

a good blend

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People are a lot like wine: a good blend involves a special combination of science and serendipity. While there’s something to be said for a pure, one-grape varietal (or in sticking with the simile, immersing oneself in a solitary culture or society), it’s an exceptional day when the opportunity presents itself to experience a diverse assembly of people with many different backgrounds.

A few weeks ago I had just that chance. My job in Human Resources brought me to London for a global “meeting of the minds.” While “science” (or planning rather) brought us together, it was the first time any such gathering had ever taken place in the history of HR at my company. Despite vast differences in level of experience, professional goals and cultural frames of reference, the mix “serendipitously” worked. Reflecting back, my experience with this group shared many characteristics of a good blend of wine:

It was unexpected and “palate” opening.

Anyone who enjoys wine like I do has his/her preferences. If I’m feeling a white I always look for a New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc , and if red is on my mind I defer to an Argentine Malbec. But if I had to select my all time favorite wine today, I would say without hesitation it is The Prisoner from Orin Swift, a vineyard in California. In terms of travel/culture I’m quick to say that I’m partial to South America…I’ve always been drawn to that part of the world and I’ve traveled extensively around the continent. I have studied the Spanish language for most of my life and I embrace my quarter Brazilian heritage and family. As we do with wine and many other aspects of life, we often get comfortable with what we know. For example, prior to my London trip I had certain Cold War era preconceptions of places like Bulgaria and the people who reside in that country. I am ashamed to say I was a bit shocked to meet someone from that part of the world who seemed so “Western” in many regards and totally contrary to the stereotype I had manifested. On the other side of that coin, I reveled in the challenge of winning over someone with her own stereotype of Americans. I tactfully tried to demonstrate my open-mindedness and deference to her culture. I complimented her fashion-sense (the common language of love for most women of any background!), asked genuine questions about her country, and truly listened to the responses. It’s an amazing formula for building rapport across cultures.

It was intense.

Mixing so many people from different countries can be overwhelming at times. It requires patience, particularly with the various styles and pace of communication. In a meeting with an ambitious agenda to cover a lot of content in a short period of time, there is a sense of urgency for communicating points quickly and moving on to the next topic. But when most people are speaking English as a second language and many come from cultures where more words are not necessarily less (as in the U.S. where we have a “cut to the chase” communication style), it required some mental endurance and heighted attention to really hear the value in what others were expressing. As it is important to let wine breathe and not judge it too quickly upon first taste, people require the same restraint in making hasty judgments.

I also had a lesson in different cultural approaches to communication. For one person in particular, speaking in a confrontational manner was totally normal and she didn’t think twice about how someone from a different country might respond. I myself fell victim to her intensity, and even coming from a culture that embraces confrontation, I caught myself reacting defensively.  After giving it some time and perspective I was able to understand that this person was just trying to establish her credibility among a group of equally intelligent professionals – much like the dominant grape in the wine blend analogy.

It left me hung-over.

As much as I love wine, unfortunately when you have too much you pay for it the next day. This trip left me feeling exhausted in much the same way. The sheer energy required to meet a new group of people, contribute ideas that added value among many eager and talented professionals, and balance respect for different cultural norms left me feeling a bit hung-over (the jet lag didn’t help either). I simultaneously learned and attempted to keep more distance with the people from the UK, to remember to greet the South Americans and the Spaniard with the proper cheek kiss, to make sure not to confuse “Brits” with “English”, and to refer to Eastern Europeans instead as Central Europeans…honestly my head is still spinning.

At the end of the day, wine is a great equalizer in that it enables us to to drop the guard. Give people enough of it and suddenly everyone loves each other and the invisible barriers fall by the wayside. The climax of our meeting was a delightful dinner where the wine flowed like water. Suddenly everyone found a common interest and bonded immediately. Judgments were set aside and everyone found a human connection with another. It was just that easy. I’m sure the naysayers out there are thinking it was just the effects of good food and alcohol. I say that’s just sour grapes.

colombia, sin divisiones (without divisions)

by nathaliedanielleLeave a Comment on colombia, sin divisiones (without divisions)

Last week during a trip to Bogota, Colombia for work, I helped organize and participated in a workshop for our employees related to effective communication. I learned a lot during the 3-hour session, facilitated by an organizational coach, but one thing he said really stuck with me: differences are a given, but divisions are a decision. While we were discussing this concept in the context of our particular corporate environment, it’s directly applicable to life outside of work and I realized just how much the Colombian culture embodies this statement. This was reinforced by a group “ice breaker” activity with the coach where he asked everyone to share something about themselves that no one else in the room already knew. This exercise could have been very silly and superficial, but with absolutely zero prompting, every single person willing volunteered deeply personal and often touching details about his or her life. The whole experience was quite emotional and instantly brought everyone closer together, thus breaking down any invisible walls that existed just a few minutes prior.

While this was only my second trip to the South American country, it only fortified my first impression and every positive comment I have heard from others. The Colombian people are incredibly warm and inviting and despite cultural differences, they make foreigners (at least in my experience) feel welcome. They truly exemplify the best of the “Latin” culture and everything I love about traveling south of the boarder. Especially the food…

Colombian food varies depending on which part of the country you are visiting, but one thing is consistent: you will never go hungry. The food and spices are as diverse as the people themselves and I can now say definitively that after only a short week in the country I’ve had some of the most memorable meals of my life in Colombia. My colleagues insisted on a night out at Andres Carne de Res, a famous tourist restaurant/club notable for its meat (various options scatted among its 64-page menu!), dancing, and cheeky atmosphere. It’s an eclectic mix of disco balls; heart-shaped signs pointing out restrooms, the bar, and other random characters; colorful recycled materials ranging from bottles to bicycles; and a wait staff ready to sing at the drop of a hat. In fact, I myself was serenaded by a band welcoming me to Colombia as I was draped in a sash with the Colombian flag and a paper crown. My favorite dish I tried had to be the arepas de choclo – a flatbread made of ground maize dough or cooked flour stuffed with a sweet corn filling. It was accompanied by an avocado dipping sauce and the whole bite literally melted in my mouth. It’s easy to fill up on these rich appetizers but it’s worth saving space for the meat. Even our Argentine colleague approved, and for those who don’t know, Argentina is considered the South American meat capital.

My entire culinary experience at Andres was magnificent. But it wasn’t just a gastronomic party. By about 11pm, the five-floor restaurant opened its retractable rooftop, cleared some tables, and the dance party began. The music was a mix of primarily Latin pop with some more familiar U.S. and Euro hits in the mix. One of my co-workers asked me to dance to a salsa song (or rather, challenged me to see if the “Gringa” could hold her own). I was fairly confident as I had danced salsa many times before, but I was quickly humbled by the smooth moves of my Colombian counterpart. As soon as my dance partner changed up the usual steps, it was stumbling over my own feet and trying desperately not to crush his. He continuously stopped me mid-step to remind me to stop trying to lead and surrender control. Talk about art imitating life!

I left Colombia feeling invigorated by a spirit and energy that’s not always present in my day-to-day life. And while I also left a little sick (note to travelers: do not eat the fried fish lunch on the island boat tours off Cartagena), I couldn’t help but think just how much my trip reinforced some of the keys to true happiness. First, it’s imperative that we establish connections with others instead of creating divisions as we so often do, both consciously and subconsciously, out of fear of the unknown. Based on my observations and interactions with Colombians, in general they have a way of making you feel like you belong and seek out a common interest. The idealist in me dreams of a world where that perspective was the default for everyone when establishing relationships. Wouldn’t we all be better off coming from a place of openness rather than being protective and emotionally inaccessible?

Lesson number two from Colombia: be authentic but don’t take yourself too seriously. What made Andres (the restaurant) so memorable was it’s dichotomous message that flamboyant and ostentatious are welcome qualities as long as it’s backed up by some damn good food and music that will knock your socks off.

And finally, message number three from my salsa lesson: let go of control, slow down, feel more, and think less. Isn’t dance a great metaphor for life? All I can say is: a.) easier said than done and b.) work in progress…

Oh, and c.) when is my next trip to Colombia?

a homage to home

by nathaliedanielleLeave a Comment on a homage to home

They say home is where the heart is, and mostly I’d have to agree – with a catch. Last weekend I made a trip home to Denver, Colorado, where I spent 18 years of my life. Like it does for many people, going home conjures up fond memories of childhood and the comforts of being cared for. It’s a place to feel protected and perhaps even transported back in time where everyone was younger and life was simpler. Now, I realize this is not the case for some who experienced a less than positive upbringing. I, however, was fortunate to grow up in a stable home with two parents that loved and provided for me in every possible way.

Yet, on this most recent trip back, I was aware of some conflicting feelings I was experiencing about “home.” While I was sitting under the dry Denver sun on the patio at my dad’s condo reading a book on the principles of Buddhism, a particular concept resonated with me and I felt that it completely explained those dichotomous sensations I just mentioned: impermanence. The idea is that everything is always changing and the less attachment we form to any one person, place, or thing the more we are open to the fluidity of positive transformations. Impermanence is just the reality of the nature of all living things and we can either face the constant challenge of resisting it, or we can go with the flow – so to speak.

I realized that impermanence is the reason for my recent attitude towards home. On one hand, home is comforting for me because it’s so familiar. Driving through streets I have not seen for years, I noticed the same old apartment complexes, the same schools, and the same nail salon where my mom used to go semi-weekly. I was even driving the same car I drove in high school, which my dad has lovingly cared for over the years. I visited family and friends who reminded me of times past, and who even looked the same to the relatively undiscerning eye. But maybe it’s just the expectation of sameness that makes home feel like it hasn’t really changed; my desire for one thing that’s stable and unchanging in a world that can feel so uncertain and that moves so fast.

Not coincidentally, my dad and I went to the movies during my visit to see The Butler. I won’t spoil the whole film, but there is an interesting connection to this idea I’m exploring. The main character was a butler at the White House for over 30 years and despite working through many different presidencies and their politics, he was entirely consumed by maintaining the status quo – or not rocking the boat when it came to race relations. The irony of the story is how he holds so tightly to his position at the White House, which was quite significant for a black man of his era, that he alienates his son for participating in the Civil Rights movement and trying to create positive change and advancement. It was another reminder that nothing can ever stay the same and if we are open to that concept, it creates the space for a beautiful evolution (which in this case culminated in a black man being elected President after so many years of persecution and struggle).

When I look closely, the reality is that a lot has changed about home. I visit my dad in his downtown condo, where he has lived since my parents divorced just a  few years ago. Most of my close friends have left town and moved forward with their lives in different cities across the country. My grandmother is no longer alive and my grandfather seems to have just a little bit harder time getting around every time I see him. Nothing is truly the same and confronting that reality is not easy for me. Even though I enjoy living my independent adult life, growing physically, professionally, and spiritually, part of me just wants to hop in a time machine and be transported to my childhood at home.

Another take on what makes the seemingly static quality of home so special is a feeling that I can pause the ever-changing nature of my life temporarily – escape to a place I mentally put on a pedestal for the fond memories it evokes (while simultaneously blocking out the negative memories). It’s like it gives me permission to finally stop and contemplate all that I have accomplished since leaving the nest. The contrast between the seeming sameness of home and the unexpected fluctuations in my day-to-day adult life to some degree give me a sense of pride and accomplishment.

The book I was reading over the weekend, The Buddha Walks Into a Bar by Lodro Rinzler, said quote: “When we acknowledge our impermanence, as well as the impermanence of everything around us, we find true appreciation for the way things are.”  The more that we ride the wave of impermanence and accept the changes as opportunities, the more that our everyday lives will bring us that comforting sense of “home”. No matter what the reason we might cling to home as a point of stability and sameness, we can all keep it in perspective knowing that without change we would be lifeless and most likely bored out of our minds. Impermanence is in fact a gift I’m choosing to embrace – and ironically, I believe it’s the stability of my home life and upbringing that gave me the strength and courage to do so.

(Blog post dedicated to mom and dad)